what? why?
my two biggest questions

jesus.
I'm 23 today 8/12/08
i still feel like a teenager.

heres a pic of me and my love of just about ten months, lindsey in front of the empire state building on 8th street in NYC



we have dumb smiles and ciggaretts and im wearing a hat like a jackass.

everything has been great
i havent been this happy in my life.

me and Lindsey are awesome
i never thought i could be into someone who's so into me for this long
and have the spark last this long

im full time at the pizza place delivering and cooking
that place is so laid back i love it
ill never find a job as easy and full of people i love
things have changed so much and i like where i am now

i love my friends, they're genuine.

i love my family and my extended family(Lindsey's family)
nothing could feel better right now honestly.

Ashley im sorry i tried to make it to your birthday party at matt's
but im glad you had a good time.


anyway just wanted to update to say everything is great
for the first time ever

everything feels good
thats why

dad told me a few days ago
that the lawyer told him
we cant keep the house at all.

everytime i think about it i get sick to my stomach.
espically because now that he has this girlfriend.
1. they may move in together, with all her fucking kids.
2. he wants to move somewhere that's between here and her house,
which is between burlington and around sea side area.
3. they wnat alot of land. so we'll be in the midle of no where new jersey.
4. i'll be probaly 30 minutes away from everything i know.
5. my job, people i talk to, people i dont tlak to so much anymore.

fuck that.
there's nothing i can do about it...


not to mention i had the most horrible dream lastnight
that i dont even wnat to talk about right now.

Reply to this post, and I will list three things I love about you. Maybe more than three. Then repost to your own journal and spread the love.

that right there
took alot out of me
time just hit slow motion.

don't be angrey with me
just understand

what a morning im having to myself.
im not used to just sitting here
but i occupied my time.
i dont think ive read that much since i was in school.
lastnight was semi calm.
ok it was calm
a good break after the past what was it week? two weeks? month? i dont know how long all that even went on.
i lost track.
the only thing i have to worry about is "what time do i work tommorow"
the rest just flows into one big long day.
it's fucked.
i used to be so on point with rembering and shit.
oh well.
i feel good today but i wish i didnt have to work.
i want to actually go out and DO something with myself
or someone else.
when i work like 2 untill 10 its such a waste of a day.
i sit around alone in the morning and just wait to have to work my ass off.
behind that stupid counter
by myself.
you all know i like what i do.
its just hard when its only be back there and you have like 5 people at the counter.
i want another day off but im broke, its not like i could do anything anyway.
i guess these next two weeks will just be weeks of waiting... to get paid.

things have been good.
a little stressful as always
i work like crazy this week and it pisses me off.
i want more time on my hands. i have so much shit i want to do.
i just never have time for it and when im not working im trying to squeeze so much shit in but it never happens anyway.
shit with lindsey is going good too.
she got kicked out sorta and has been spending most of her nights at my house
and ashley's once in a while.
i need to clena my room the fuck up. i feel bad shes got all her shit shoved in one place because its such a disaster in here.
its not dirty
theres just clothes and boxes all over and when i have time i def need to finish unpacking my shit.
its been what now? 4 months?
its funny because this place was clean like 2 weeks ago.
i just get lazy and throw shit around.
im starving too right now and theres never food in the house.
i grocery shop but its all gone in a weke or less
and i never have time to go do it once a week either.
moms been giving me left overs and if i dont work sunday i think ill go there again for dinner
unless something better comes up, not even food wise.
just something better.
alright, enough of this.

j.dunn
im doing all i can
sorry it seems like your phone calls are getting no where
<3

my foot is fucked.
j.dunn dont feel sorry i dont blame you
i was dumb enough to kick a glass bottle that got in the pool.
i had no idea what it was thats why i was like
"What the fuck is this in the pool!?" *KICK*
ill be okay

PS you. im sorry loverface.
i meant no harm <3
forgive me.
i got it back good.

i havent slept here in days
my back is killing me, well my whole body.
it dosent exactly hurt i just need to streach and crack a few things i guess.

work has been insane.
i never rember being this busy ever.
and it has even been crazy before it got thsi close to the school year.
sometimes i feel like im on one of those shows about people with crazy ass jobs.

i like it though in a way.
toni always tells me to not be so nice and start telling people i cant do their shit
so i don't get so stressed out.
it dosent bother me though.
i get lost for a while in shit i have to do
then i get a chance to catch up and reorganize myself.

the cat has been pissing me off this morning
i guess he misses me
he wont leave me alone.
i woke up to him shoving his whole face in my mouth this morning
along with his wet nose.
yuck.

i need to do laundry and clean my room up again.
its getting to be a mess.

i also need cat food and litter
but im broke as fuck.

i still need to pay a parking ticket and a ticket for haveing expired temp tags.
my cell phone bill is comming up in a week or two.
i need to get that mirror put on and i need to get my tint fixed because i failed inspection.
jesus.
i wont stress myself on that now though.
i got alot going on in my mind anyway.
those will get done
when i get paid.
im never home
and i never have time

ah well.

its been a good day
and a good past few weeks.


back to work now.
sucks. i wish i could be on a paid vacation the rest of my life.

time for food, which i have in my house now
and some tv before bed.
alone unfortunatly.

so i have a dream that the cops are after us.
what the fuck. wakeing up thinking its real was even funnier.
then im in the bathroom brushing my teeth and get this.
i have a huge cut on my pinky toe out of NOWHERE.
all i felt was the pain i look down and nothing is there that caused it.
what the hell?
TV shit.

man..
what a life.
i love it

i love you assholes <3

i LOVE my friends and family.
id give up ANYTHING for any one of you guys.

This is going to be a really hard time.
The past two months have been spent bwteen NJ and WV with Ryka.
I'm trying hard to get a job there but its not working out.
Today i had to come back alone after us being together for such a long time it was really hard.
for both of us.
Se needs to workand so do i but im going to try my hardest to transfer to the OMX in Charelston so i cna get back there.
It feels more like home.
No offence to anyone in NJ.
Just with the whole family and dad thing i feel more like a maid.
I got home after 8 hours of driving in the car and really needed to piss and there was not a tissueor roll of toilet paper in the bathroom.
Then he wants me to go out and get take out after i had bene in the car for so long why would i want to go back out.
Theres not a dman thing to eat here except pork roll thats 3 weeks old.
And it just feels so lonley.
The only thing that will suck is driving an hour and 15min to work and back but thats petty shit.
I'll probaly keep looking anyway bacause i need benifets.

my head
my mind
my soul
is clogged
and i want to explode.


i wish there was another way